Albert Einstein is credited with defining insanity as, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By this definition, I believe parents can be classified as being insane. At the very least, I can claim insanity. However, on a rare occasion, the persistence may just pay off...
Many years ago, there were days that I just did not want to go to school. I would claim a tummy ache and throw in the headache for good measure, hoping my mother would take pity and allow me to stay home. After all, how could a good parent force a sick child upon the world? That would be unheard of, right? HA! Yeah, right. If my memory serves well, that little ploy worked less than half of the time...maybe even less than a quarter of the time.
Now, my son, who thinks I never tried the exact same things he is trying or went through the same struggles he is going through (silly little naive grasshopper), is trying the old stomach ache, headache, and overall sick act upon me, again. Poor kid...he doesn't stand a chance with that one! Of course, for the sake of learning, we do allow him to stay home on occasion, and sometimes simply because his act is so convincing we feel that not only does he earn the right to stay home, he should also earn an Emmy or an Oscar for his portrayal of a truly ill child. But, regardless of the situation, the consequence is always the same; he must stay in his room, get rest, and if he cannot sleep, he may read a book, write a letter, or draw. No TV, no play time, no fun stuff...if you are too sick to be at school, you are too sick to do anything other than rest. What's that? You are hungry? I'll get you some chicken soup and ultra-bland saltine crackers to eat.
Every time he feels "sick" we do the same thing, over and over again, expecting he will get a clue and realize that playing hooky is not fun (at least not until you become an adult and can usually get away with it!), and hope that he sees that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Yes, we are insane, by Einstein's definition, we do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Only this time, we have proven Einstein wrong! Muahaha!
Yesterday, he tried to play the sick card and had the school give us a call. My response was, give him child's strength Motrin, and send him back to class. Children's Motrin must be magic because he miraculously recovered by the time he came home and was feeling well enough to say he had a good day. Today, the school called again, but this time, he was not given the opportunity to take the magic Motrin, he was sent home.
When I arrived, I was less than happy about the situation, but decided I had better give him the benefit of the doubt and see if the little boy who cried wolf actually saw a wolf this time. When his healthy looking cheeks, alert eyes, and the silent mischievous smirk yelling "ha!, I fooled the grown-ups this time!" came around the corner, I knew immediately there was no wolf. I sighed, because I knew I was about to do the same thing I had done many times before, and yes, I was hoping for a different result.
I took the guilt trip route. I explained to him that if he is really sick, there is no need to apologize, but if he is acting, there will be a problem because his mother and I have had to rearrange our schedules, cancel meetings, and push back work that needed to be done. If he was really sick, however, none of that would matter because we will always be there for him. He promised that his tummy hurt, and that he wasn't acting. "hmmm...ok" was all I said.
When we arrived home, I immediately sent him to his room for "much needed rest" and explained to him that he can read if he cannot sleep, but no running around, playing games, or anything of the sort. His "sick" body needed rest to recover. When he asked if he could have crackers, I told him, after you get some sleep, I'll fix some chicken soup and crackers for you...yep, same thing over and over again.
I headed downstairs to get dinner into the crock-pot before my six hour available cook time had expired (I love crock-pots, by the way). Along with the clattering of plates and silverware prepping the feast for the evening, I heard a random, "thump..thump" coming from upstairs. I let the first one go, but the second, third and fourth were all met with "You need to stop moving around and get some rest!" I also explained to him, again, that if he is well enough to be moving around like he is, then he is well enough to go back to school.
A few minutes later, my son trudged down the steps, his head hung low, with these words coming out of his mouth, "Dad, take me back to school. I lied, I am not sick." I had to work at suppressing the grin my mouth was trying to form, but somehow I managed.
The following conversation reiterated the reasons why he shouldn't cry wolf, why lying is wrong, and so on, but the final consequence was the same as if he really were sick...bed rest, reading, and drawing was all that was allowed. I was nice enough to tell him he could clean his room, in addition to the previously mentioned activities, though, so I am not that mean of a parent! In the end, he was not happy with his choices and seemed to be legitimately remorseful for his actions.
So, maybe I am not as insane as I thought I was. Perhaps doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result from your child is not a part of Einstein's definition. Somewhere out there, I am guessing there is a disclaimer to his theory that reads, "exclusions apply," which I seem to have found...for now. We'll see how his next "sick day" goes first before I claim absolute victory...Either way, I hope he learns from these experiences and does not prove Einstein's theory correct!
Showing posts with label acting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acting. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
He has a bright future in acting...
This past week my son took a giant step forward in the pursuit of a lucrative acting career. His dream of working for George Lucas is turning into a reality right before our eyes. And it is moments like these that I can say that I am glad to have been a part of the journey. Yes, I can say that, but I am not...not this time, anyway.
My son's school held it's annual winter program last Thursday at a building that some said was a church. This "church" however, was none like I have ever seen before. Before I go on, let me say that I am in no way making fun of any religion, church, practice, belief, or anything like that, rather I am just giving you my interpretation of what my eyes saw, and I will let you be the judge from there. In addition, I suppose the Greater Being (insert preferred name descriptor here) is everywhere, so the building itself could be anything from nothing to the most ostentatious structure in the world, right? Anyway, enough with the disclaimer...
So, we pull into an office park full of medical offices and other types of businesses. Smack in the middle, we find the, umm, church. It stands a few stories tall, and has a very mall/office building look to it. The congregation has a choice of two doors to enter where the sermons take place, but we will get to that later.
In the lobby to your left (or right, depending on which door you entered from) appears to be an information desk that rivals (and may even win) those in a mega-mall. Since we were here to attend a school function and church was not in session, I cannot be 100% sure what the desk was for, but it sure looked like a place to get directions.
Since the first auditorium door was stuffed with anxious parents waiting to point identifying fingers toward the stage and gleam with joy at their child's perfected performance, we made our way down to the less-populated doors. On the way we noticed an ATM-like machine. The kiosk stood about five feet tall, had a computer screen, and a card reader that seemed the perfect size for a credit card or ATM card. Still unsure of its intended use, we moved forward to the doors we would later enter.
For our viewing pleasure during our wait, we were treated to scrolling photos of various kids, which appeared to be taken during the school year. Having moved to the area just two months ago, we had absolutely no idea who these kids were and I felt like I was watching some stranger's summer vacation slide show...not my idea of excitement, that's for sure. However, I can say with 99.9% accuracy that if my son was in one of those photos, I would have watched the entire slide show repeatedly just to catch a two second glimpse of him...but he wasn't, and therefore, the slide show was quite boring.
Although the slide show was humdrum, the interesting part was what the slide show was on. Picture, if you will, six 50" high definition televisions standing on their sides, pressed up against each other in a row, with some type of psychedelic light show traveling a few feet above and below the televisions. After you see that in your mind, look to your right and see six more identically placed television next to the first set of doors. I guess I never realized Jesus had gone so high-tech, but then again, why would he not? Perhaps the televisions were there for the Sunday afternoon crowd...you know, that way the football games could be displayed while church was in service...but I didn't see any Lazy-boys around...however, the bathrooms were conveniently placed in between the two sets of technical miracle projectors, so you never know.
Finally, about forty-five minutes after arrival, we were ushered into the grand auditorium. Walking up the neon blue tube-light lit stairs, we found our seat. Yes, each step (and there were a whole bunch of them!) was lined with a tube light, similar to those found in a movie theater or airplane, only the light was a very dreamy and heavenly electric blue that produced a magical, warm and fuzzy feeling in my noggin. The movie theater style seats were comfy, but I cannot recall the last time I was in a church that had stadium style seating, so that threw me off a bit. They sure were nice for the winter performance, though!
In the center of the room stood a sound board most audio-visual geeks (like me) would be envious of that took up four or five rows of seating. The control panel operated the superior sound system for maximum clarity preaching, I suppose. The Broadway stage type of lighting must have been controlled in one of the multiple windowed rooms, at the back of the mega-meetinghouse, that over-looked the immense area one would assume the "alter" would be placed. The stage was big enough to make The Lyric jealous...well, maybe not that big, but it was still a decent size! Then it dawned on me...I knew what that ATM looking thing in the lobby was for! After looking at all of this technology and fancy apparatuses, the church had to pay for it somehow, right? Therefore, I pondered, it must be a tithing machine...yes, that's it, simply slide your Master Card, Visa, American Express, Discover, or ATM card through and voila! Yes, even He takes plastic, now.
So, in this church we sit, waiting patiently for our son to make his big North Carolina acting debut. The first set was a group of primary students. The first few seconds of the performance was nearly perfect with all of the kids signing clearly and in harmony. Then, the confusion started. One or two of the little Pavarottis started signing slightly off cue...which threw the others off...then the short attention spans kicked in and a little wandering began. But, kudos must be given to the teachers since these little tykes sat relatively still for three songs, and sang (mostly) from memory without the help from the adults.
The next few skits had everything your typical elementary school play would have...one or two kids not paying attention, forgetting lines, walking on stage at the wrong time, and running around trying to catch up. Yes, it was a scene from a blockbuster movie indeed, well, not quite the rock concert in the movie "Love Actually", but...well, you get the idea. I think it was at this point that I started to doze off a little...
So, two and a half hours had passed since we first stepped foot in the door and our son was finally about to make his presence known. Yes, his big NC debut was about to unfold...When the young narrator mentioned "China" and "dragon" in the same sentence, I woke from my nap. Yes, I kinda dig dragons and more importantly my son said he was in this skit, so it was time to be alert. Fortunately, I perked up just in time to see four pairs of shoes attached to four pairs of youthful legs, covered in a long, flashy, and red dragon suit. There he was! The second pair of legs belonged to my son...Man, was I proud. My finger pointed to the stage, I sat a little taller, and joy gleamed from my smile. He walked effortlessly and flowed with the other three sets of dragon legs, just as they had rehearsed for weeks. Then, two minutes later, poof!, he (and the rest of the dragon) did an exit stage left and that was that. A half of an hour later, the show ended.
As another parent reality check popped up (me waiting two and a half hours to see two minutes of my son...err, son's legs and being ok with that), my son spotted me in the crowd and he weaved his way through the sea of proud parents, up the neon blue stairs, to give me a big hug. "Did you see me, Dad?" he asked with a sense of extreme pride in his voice. "I did! And you did great!" I remarked. His smile, hug, and sense of accomplishment made the night a night to remember. Yep...two and a half hours to watch two minutes. And yes, I really was proud of him!
My son's school held it's annual winter program last Thursday at a building that some said was a church. This "church" however, was none like I have ever seen before. Before I go on, let me say that I am in no way making fun of any religion, church, practice, belief, or anything like that, rather I am just giving you my interpretation of what my eyes saw, and I will let you be the judge from there. In addition, I suppose the Greater Being (insert preferred name descriptor here) is everywhere, so the building itself could be anything from nothing to the most ostentatious structure in the world, right? Anyway, enough with the disclaimer...
So, we pull into an office park full of medical offices and other types of businesses. Smack in the middle, we find the, umm, church. It stands a few stories tall, and has a very mall/office building look to it. The congregation has a choice of two doors to enter where the sermons take place, but we will get to that later.
In the lobby to your left (or right, depending on which door you entered from) appears to be an information desk that rivals (and may even win) those in a mega-mall. Since we were here to attend a school function and church was not in session, I cannot be 100% sure what the desk was for, but it sure looked like a place to get directions.
Since the first auditorium door was stuffed with anxious parents waiting to point identifying fingers toward the stage and gleam with joy at their child's perfected performance, we made our way down to the less-populated doors. On the way we noticed an ATM-like machine. The kiosk stood about five feet tall, had a computer screen, and a card reader that seemed the perfect size for a credit card or ATM card. Still unsure of its intended use, we moved forward to the doors we would later enter.
For our viewing pleasure during our wait, we were treated to scrolling photos of various kids, which appeared to be taken during the school year. Having moved to the area just two months ago, we had absolutely no idea who these kids were and I felt like I was watching some stranger's summer vacation slide show...not my idea of excitement, that's for sure. However, I can say with 99.9% accuracy that if my son was in one of those photos, I would have watched the entire slide show repeatedly just to catch a two second glimpse of him...but he wasn't, and therefore, the slide show was quite boring.
Although the slide show was humdrum, the interesting part was what the slide show was on. Picture, if you will, six 50" high definition televisions standing on their sides, pressed up against each other in a row, with some type of psychedelic light show traveling a few feet above and below the televisions. After you see that in your mind, look to your right and see six more identically placed television next to the first set of doors. I guess I never realized Jesus had gone so high-tech, but then again, why would he not? Perhaps the televisions were there for the Sunday afternoon crowd...you know, that way the football games could be displayed while church was in service...but I didn't see any Lazy-boys around...however, the bathrooms were conveniently placed in between the two sets of technical miracle projectors, so you never know.
Finally, about forty-five minutes after arrival, we were ushered into the grand auditorium. Walking up the neon blue tube-light lit stairs, we found our seat. Yes, each step (and there were a whole bunch of them!) was lined with a tube light, similar to those found in a movie theater or airplane, only the light was a very dreamy and heavenly electric blue that produced a magical, warm and fuzzy feeling in my noggin. The movie theater style seats were comfy, but I cannot recall the last time I was in a church that had stadium style seating, so that threw me off a bit. They sure were nice for the winter performance, though!
In the center of the room stood a sound board most audio-visual geeks (like me) would be envious of that took up four or five rows of seating. The control panel operated the superior sound system for maximum clarity preaching, I suppose. The Broadway stage type of lighting must have been controlled in one of the multiple windowed rooms, at the back of the mega-meetinghouse, that over-looked the immense area one would assume the "alter" would be placed. The stage was big enough to make The Lyric jealous...well, maybe not that big, but it was still a decent size! Then it dawned on me...I knew what that ATM looking thing in the lobby was for! After looking at all of this technology and fancy apparatuses, the church had to pay for it somehow, right? Therefore, I pondered, it must be a tithing machine...yes, that's it, simply slide your Master Card, Visa, American Express, Discover, or ATM card through and voila! Yes, even He takes plastic, now.
So, in this church we sit, waiting patiently for our son to make his big North Carolina acting debut. The first set was a group of primary students. The first few seconds of the performance was nearly perfect with all of the kids signing clearly and in harmony. Then, the confusion started. One or two of the little Pavarottis started signing slightly off cue...which threw the others off...then the short attention spans kicked in and a little wandering began. But, kudos must be given to the teachers since these little tykes sat relatively still for three songs, and sang (mostly) from memory without the help from the adults.
The next few skits had everything your typical elementary school play would have...one or two kids not paying attention, forgetting lines, walking on stage at the wrong time, and running around trying to catch up. Yes, it was a scene from a blockbuster movie indeed, well, not quite the rock concert in the movie "Love Actually", but...well, you get the idea. I think it was at this point that I started to doze off a little...
So, two and a half hours had passed since we first stepped foot in the door and our son was finally about to make his presence known. Yes, his big NC debut was about to unfold...When the young narrator mentioned "China" and "dragon" in the same sentence, I woke from my nap. Yes, I kinda dig dragons and more importantly my son said he was in this skit, so it was time to be alert. Fortunately, I perked up just in time to see four pairs of shoes attached to four pairs of youthful legs, covered in a long, flashy, and red dragon suit. There he was! The second pair of legs belonged to my son...Man, was I proud. My finger pointed to the stage, I sat a little taller, and joy gleamed from my smile. He walked effortlessly and flowed with the other three sets of dragon legs, just as they had rehearsed for weeks. Then, two minutes later, poof!, he (and the rest of the dragon) did an exit stage left and that was that. A half of an hour later, the show ended.
As another parent reality check popped up (me waiting two and a half hours to see two minutes of my son...err, son's legs and being ok with that), my son spotted me in the crowd and he weaved his way through the sea of proud parents, up the neon blue stairs, to give me a big hug. "Did you see me, Dad?" he asked with a sense of extreme pride in his voice. "I did! And you did great!" I remarked. His smile, hug, and sense of accomplishment made the night a night to remember. Yep...two and a half hours to watch two minutes. And yes, I really was proud of him!
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