Saturday, December 17, 2011

Even Santa is Outsourcing!

There is a good chance I will butcher this story since it is a recollection of a conversation that took place between my son and my wife about three years ago, but I think it is worth sharing, and I reserve the right to use creative license since this is my blog and I also reserve the right to use run-on sentences since, yes, this is my blog and no, it is not Mrs. Evans' English class.  But, I will try to make each paragraph at least two sentences long in honor of Mrs. Evans, just to prove that I did learn a thing or two while attending high school.

As I mentioned, the following conversation took place about three years ago.  It is entirely possible that the conversation took place on a sleepy afternoon (which makes the response by my wife even more impressive), on Christmas day.  Regardless of the actual date, the conversation was about Santa and where he lives.

Apparently, Santa is now outsourcing his duties.  Why wouldn't he?  Really, if you think about it, he of all people should be outsourcing!

As you may know, my son is rather bright.  His mind works in ways that few of us can comprehend, but the cool thing about that is, he asks some very important questions...some of which, we have no answers for.  My wife is also very bright (which makes me the dimmest bulb in the bunch, I suppose...hmmm, I guess I didn't think that one through very well!), and she is able to think quickly...most of the time.  Luckily, she thought very quickly and the result was the following conversation:

Son - Mom, Santa lives in the North Pole, right?

Mom - Yes, why?

Son - And Santa's elves make the toys he brings, right?

Mom - Yes, why?

Son - Then, why does this toy say "Made in China"?

Mom - (without hesitation and as deadpan as can be)  You know how many kids Santa has to deliver to, right? 

Son - Yeah...

Mom - Well, he has elves in every part of the world to help him on Christmas! 

All I can say is, I am really happy she got that question and not me since I would have looked like a deer...uhhh, sorry, but I really must to go here...a reindeer caught in headlights. So, remember this, if your kid ever asks about Santa's elves in China, you now have a legitimate response and also know that Santa has elves everywhere which means Santa has eyes everywhere, he really does know if you have been naughty or nice!  Well, at least that is what we told our son...hehe.

Whatever special celebration you may have this time of year, I sincerely hope it is/was/will be the best yet but not as good as those to come. 

Disclaimer...(Yes, its a repeat of the last one...but the blog above is new!) First, let me say that I am not a specialist in Asperger's Syndrome, nor do I play one on TV. What I write or say are strictly my own personal observations and beliefs, so please do not sue me because I said something that made you do something that caused a misdiagnosis, or created a problem, or made you do something stupid. Have accountability, go see a professional, and leave my finances alone...besides, you really wouldn't get much anyway, so its probably not worth your time to call the lawyer on the back of the phone book to see if you have a case. Spend that time more wisely, like figuring out how to subscribe to my blog...and don't ask me about that because I'm not even sure how it works! Seriously, though, if some of the things I say seem like they sound very familiar in your family, set up an appointment with a true professional. While you are waiting for their callback, please, continue reading and leave a note!

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