Even Santa is Outsourcing!

There is a good chance I will butcher this story since it is a recollection of a conversation that took place between my son and my wife about three years ago, but I think it is worth sharing, and I reserve the right to use creative license since this is my blog and I also reserve the right to use run-on sentences since, yes, this is my blog and no, it is not Mrs. Evans' English class.  But, I will try to make each paragraph at least two sentences long in honor of Mrs. Evans, just to prove that I did learn a thing or two while attending high school.

As I mentioned, the following conversation took place about three years ago.  It is entirely possible that the conversation took place on a sleepy afternoon (which makes the response by my wife even more impressive), on Christmas day.  Regardless of the actual date, the conversation was about Santa and where he lives.

Apparently, Santa is now outsourcing his duties.  Why wouldn't he?  Really, if you think about it, he of all people should be outsourcing!

As you may know, my son is rather bright.  His mind works in ways that few of us can comprehend, but the cool thing about that is, he asks some very important questions...some of which, we have no answers for.  My wife is also very bright (which makes me the dimmest bulb in the bunch, I suppose...hmmm, I guess I didn't think that one through very well!), and she is able to think quickly...most of the time.  Luckily, she thought very quickly and the result was the following conversation:

Son - Mom, Santa lives in the North Pole, right?

Mom - Yes, why?

Son - And Santa's elves make the toys he brings, right?

Mom - Yes, why?

Son - Then, why does this toy say "Made in China"?

Mom - (without hesitation and as deadpan as can be)  You know how many kids Santa has to deliver to, right? 

Son - Yeah...

Mom - Well, he has elves in every part of the world to help him on Christmas! 


All I can say is, I am really happy she got that question and not me since I would have looked like a deer...uhhh, sorry, but I really must to go here...a reindeer caught in headlights. So, remember this, if your kid ever asks about Santa's elves in China, you now have a legitimate response and also know that Santa has elves everywhere which means Santa has eyes everywhere, too...so he really does know if you have been naughty or nice!  Well, at least that is what we told our son...hehe.

Whatever special celebration you may have this time of year, I sincerely hope it is/was/will be the best yet but not as good as those to come. 







Disclaimer...(Yes, its a repeat of the last one...but the blog above is new!) First, let me say that I am not a specialist in Asperger's Syndrome, nor do I play one on TV. What I write or say are strictly my own personal observations and beliefs, so please do not sue me because I said something that made you do something that caused a misdiagnosis, or created a problem, or made you do something stupid. Have accountability, go see a professional, and leave my finances alone...besides, you really wouldn't get much anyway, so its probably not worth your time to call the lawyer on the back of the phone book to see if you have a case. Spend that time more wisely, like figuring out how to subscribe to my blog...and don't ask me about that because I'm not even sure how it works! Seriously, though, if some of the things I say seem like they sound very familiar in your family, set up an appointment with a true professional. While you are waiting for their callback, please, continue reading and leave a note!

All I want for Christmas...

I like Ferrari. Some may say I am obsessed with Ferrari, but I think it is more like a healthy love than anything more serious than that. If I remember correctly, I started loving these exotic super-cars when I was about the age my son is now, so it should be no surprise to me that exotic matchbox cars were on his Christmas wish list this year. Sweet...Santa is going to have it easy this year!

My son, unfortunately, likes Lamborghini, but he also has a healthy love for Ferrari as well.  Methinks that is more because I love them and not so much because he likes them.  He has also mentioned that he plans to buy me one when he is old enough to drive. I have not had the heart to tell him that most likely will not happen, so instead I thank him and go off dreaming about buying one myself one day.

Speaking of buying one, let me go on record by saying that I will own one before I die. Okay, maybe it will not be the Enzo ($1,000,000 - give or take a few hundred thousand) or the one that started it all for me, a 288 GTO (Bargain priced at $300,000 - give or take a hundred thousand), but I will own one, even if it means buying a used 308 (think Magnum PI), for under 20 grand.  Yes, for that money it might...errr...will need some work, but as long as I can tag it, insure it, and drive it, I will be perfectly happy.

Ferrari Enzo

Ferrari 288 GTO

 But, sharing my dreams of Ferraris is not the reason for this post. No, it is more serious than that. This post is about the horrible state of affairs our world has entered.  I realized just how depressing our world has become today while I was Christmas shopping.  A tragedy indeed.  A world where even dreams have become a part of the "green movement" where the finely tuned music of a 600 horsepower engine is becoming a distant memory. A world where it is nearly impossible to find an exotic Matchbox or Hot Wheels car. A world where Matchbox and Hot Wheels are marketing cars like the Toyota Prius and the Honda Insight...really?  Is this really what our world has become?  It is a sad, sad day, indeed. 

When I was a kid, the main idea behind Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars was to be able to fantasize about owning cars that were cool and probably out of reach for the middle class citizen. Cars like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche, and hot rods like Chevy, Pontiac, and Oldsmobile outnumbered the silly cars like the panel truck and police cars (although, some of the cop cars were pretty cool).  Today, I challenge you to try to find a Ferrari in the car section of your local Target or Toys R Us stores...ain't gonna be there...and that is a shame. 

A Prius???  Really???  Come on, now, are you kidding me?  Okay, granted, the Prius is a pretty significant car for today's world with its green soul and trendy status, but make a Hot Wheels/Matchbox car in its likeness?  And the Insight?  Gag me with a spoon!  Maybe, just maybe, I can see a Prelude or even the Accord, but the Insight?  wow...what were they thinking?  I can see it now, a little seven year old talking to his dad, "Dad, when I grow up, I want to own a Prius!"  huh? say what? Phbbttttt!!!

Really???

So, as I rifled through the assortment of miniature cars hanging on the extend metal rod from the peg board wall, I quickly realized that Santa may have a problem this year.  Foreign exotic Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars are apparently just as difficult to come by as the real thing.  Fortunately, I have quite a collection of Ferraris from back in the day, back when Matchbox and Hot Wheels were actually cool.  Unfortunately for my son, he isn't going to get any of those, but at least I can show him how cool these two companies were at one time. 

This is about 1/1000th of my collection

No, this post is not really relevant to anything remotely related to Asperger's, except for the fact that my son's mind is set on receiving these exotic cars and will be crushed like a grape in France during wine season - thanks Matchbox and Hot Wheels for that, by the way.  Instead, it is just a simple little rant about the ludicrousness of being politically correct in an area that is meant for fantasies and dreams.  Don't get me wrong, political correctness is a necessity is some aspects of life, and if I have offended you in any way, shape, or form, please accept my...um...sincere apologies and know that I will promise to alter my personality for your benefit in the near future...but only after Matchbox and Hot Wheels start making cool cars again!  








Disclaimer...(Yes, its a repeat of the last one...but the blog above is new!) First, let me say that I am not a specialist in Asperger's Syndrome, nor do I play one on TV. What I write or say are strictly my own personal observations and beliefs, so please do not sue me because I said something that made you do something that caused a misdiagnosis, or created a problem, or made you do something stupid. Have accountability, go see a professional, and leave my finances alone...besides, you really wouldn't get much anyway, so its probably not worth your time to call the lawyer on the back of the phone book to see if you have a case. Spend that time more wisely, like figuring out how to subscribe to my blog...and don't ask me about that because I'm not even sure how it works! Seriously, though, if some of the things I say seem like they sound very familiar in your family, set up an appointment with a true professional. While you are waiting for their callback, please, continue reading and leave a note!