No, this entry is not about Garth Brooks' song, "The Dance", and, with any luck, the heart break won't be there either. But, this entry is about a dance, and it is about the way my son (my TEN year old son) asked a girl to go to a dance.
First, let me explain the situation/scene; my son's school does not have a large population of kids. In his class, there are five boys (including my son) and one girl. I feel sorry for the girl! There is one other class in his grade level that has mostly girls, but they are not important at this time...well, let me rephrase that, since every child is important...you knowing about that particular class is not important to understanding this story. There. Now that I have politically corrected myself, I can resume telling you what happened.
Two days ago, my son hopped into the car, after school, with enthusiasm. I asked how his day went and he immediately told me that his school was having a dance. I, of course, asked, "When?" He said he didn't know...but he was excited about it. So, I asked him if he wanted to ask someone to go to the dance with him. He shyly said yes. Who? I asked...having a pretty good feeling that it was one of the girl in his class...and no, I did not forget the "s" in girl...don't forget, I said there was only one to begin with...come on, stick with the group, here. Sheesh. Anyway, she was the one he wanted to ask, but he was not sure how he was going to do it.
Yesterday, when my son got in the car after I picked him up from school, his first word was "October." Of course, I asked, "What about October?" ... since 24 hours had passed and I had no clue what he was talking about. "The dance. The dance is in October." he said, as if I should have known that...which, I probably should have, and given a few minutes I may have been able to figure it out. But I'm a geezer, remember, and my memory ain't what it used to be. "Oh!" I replied. "What day in October?" "I dunno." he said. Hey, at least we narrowed it down to the month, right? Moving on...
Last night, my son asked me for advice; he wanted to know how he should ask his classmate to go with him to the dance. I told him he should ask her one on one, not with any of his or her friends around, and just say something like, " Hi (insert girl's name here). I was wondering if you were going to the dance with anyone and if not, would you like to go with me?" I figured, he's 10...he's got time to learn how to be more suave, so I gave him the basics. He then asked his mother, who said something girly like, "Write her a note with the question and a check-box so she can choose yes or no." (Note to self -- future blog on gender differences and the pain...I mean, FUN...they bring about.)
Well, apparently, my son is smarter than I look. He did both...sort of. This morning, when I came downstairs to check on him, he boldly told me he was writing "the girl" a poem. Hmmm...not bad. I silently thought, he's ten and already knows how to sweep them off their feet...and...oh boy, he's writing a poem...this isn't going to turn out good for anyone. Little did I know...
One good thing about Aspie kids is their social awkwardness does not let them feel fear to interact with whatever they want to say. Their actions might not always be appropriate at the time, but (at least in my son's case), they say what is on their mind and do not think about the consequences, which may be a blessing in disguise for situations like these. In this case, I was anticipating the worst. I was already preparing for the "so you had a crash-and-burn, now get back on your feet and try again" pep talk. All I could see was this adorable little girl suddenly running to her friends, note in hand, and telling them what just happened. My son, meanwhile, would be standing there, all alone, not knowing what sort of melee was about to rain down on him. At this point, I did not know what to do, so I took the blindfold off of my little eagle, and I let him fly. I hoped I would not have to pick up the pieces of his shattered ego in the afternoon.
When the time to pick up my son after school came around, I waited to see his expressions as he walked to the car. Fortunately, he did not look crushed. That was a positive sign. He got in the car, and I said, "Well? How did it go?" He said, "It went well. She said the teacher said that it is not that kind of a dance, that everyone just meets at the school." Wow...I was impressed. This little girl knew how to let him down easily. Very impressive, I must say. I wish the girls did that for me when I was his age! He was not disappointed, his ego was not shattered, and he was still looking forward to the dance. Sweet! No, "pick yourself up" pep talk needed!
My son then said, "She did say that she would dance with me, though." Cool beans! Woohoo! HA! Yeah, he's a stud. I must have taught him well...at least that is what I am telling myself. By the way, here's the poem/letter. Don't tell him I posted this...I'm thinking he wouldn't be too happy about it...but at least I deleted her name to avoid any paparazzi stalking her!
Disclaimer...(Yes, its a repeat of the last one...but the blog above is new!) First, let me say that I am not a specialist in Asperger's Syndrome, nor do I play one on TV. What I write or say are strictly my own personal observations and beliefs, so please do not sue me because I said something that made you do something that caused a misdiagnosis, or created a problem, or made you do something stupid. Have accountability, go see a professional, and leave my finances alone...besides, you really wouldn't get much anyway, so its probably not worth your time to call the lawyer on the back of the phone book to see if you have a case. Spend that time more wisely, like figuring out how to subscribe to my blog...and don't ask me about that because I'm not even sure how it works! Seriously, though, if some of the things I say seem like they sound very familiar in your family, set up an appointment with a true professional. While you are waiting for their callback, please, continue reading and leave a note!